But I Don't Like Beer: Life in Munich

Schwarzfahrer

2010-08-25T07:51:00.000-07:00

As you may know I am currently lacking in funds, hence the babysitting. This means at times I must be a Schwarzfahrerin (lit. black rider) and ride the UBahn, SBahn, bus, or tram without a ticket. They do not check for these every time you board public transportation (unless you are getting on a bus at night), which means if you don't guilt easily by all the signs saying not to do it you can get away with not paying. Occassionally they have undercover ticket inspectors that will board and wait for the doors to close and then whip out their id and ask for tickets. Even though it is a 40 euro fine, I always imagine getting caught will go down like the scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he throws a Nazi out of the plane and then explains this action by saying, "No ticket."

Anyway the only good thing about this situtation is that it makes me think of this excellent short film from several years ago.

See Mozart's Birthplace! Attend Famous Music Festival! Hear Worst Street Muscians Ever!

2010-08-24T02:05:00.000-07:00

So for my birthday week I ended up going to Salzburg twice. The Salzburg Music Festival is nearing its end, but the tourist and buskers are here in full force.

Mozart pointing to the ground and showing that he put this place on the map. His reward: having an old man with a guitar singing Neil Young's "Heart of Gold" badly underneath his statue

The Burg (i.e. fortress). From where I am standing I could here the lovely strains "My Heart Will Go On:" on electric violin with Muzak accompaniment played on a loud speaker

The driver is telling the passengers that "when you know the notes to sing, you can sing most anything!"

When I was last here in March it was freezing and all the fountains were under glass pyramids. As my friend Wendy pointed out Salzburg really has a thing for horses.

Because I am cheap I refused to pay 10 euro to go up to the castle. You can take an elevator near the modern art museum for a fraction of that price and see the same views. While Wendy and Aaron went up in a funicular (seen here), I got a Melange (Viennese coffee, like a cappuccino and with whipped cream on top)

Waiting for W and A to come down from the burg, I stood by this fountain and pretended to be in Italy

I think this should just be a universal rule.

Last time I was here standing in this beautiful cemetary my feet had frozen to the ground.

Aaron taking pics in Mirabell Gardens

Yes it was much warmer than in March, still I had to wear a jacket in the middle of August. Oh Salzburg I think I love you.

These guys are featured in Sound of Music, like everything good in Salzburg.

When I went back on Sunday I was able to get a five euro ticket at the last minute to see an amazing program of Chopin (who I never liked until that moment) played by Maurizio Pollini. I am not ashamed to admit that I teared up a bit when he played the preludes. Life doesn't get much better than this.

Pollini playing Chopin's Nocturne N 8

Klein-Venedig

2010-08-23T12:13:00.000-07:00

So when my friend who has been living in Venice came to visit, I decided he must be homesick so I thought we could go up to Bamberg (aka Little Venice). And as we discovered is exactly like Venice...

Churches with fun quadratura!

Gondolas

And buildings, like this town hall, built right on the water

Nothing says Venice like half-timbered buildings

I promised Michael, that unlike Salzburg where we were going later, there wasn't going to be a busy festival. You can see I was correct. Also here is where Bamberg has a little bit of an identity crisis, because we are on one of its seven hills.

Boat Races

And only Venice has flowers

Here is Michael feeling right at home.

Anyway it was a really beautiful town, and what is more, very important to the Ottonian King Henry II, who is buried here with his wife, and my dissertation.

The church built under ol' Heinrich II was partially destroyed by fire in 1081. The new cathedral was consecrated in 1111 (an easy date to remember) and in the 13th century received its present late-Romanesque form.

Neue Residenz, residence of the bishops after the 17th century

Der Super-Famous Bamberger Reiter which is a symbol of the city, even though no one knows who it is supposed to represent. Considering the rest of the town I am going to say it represents Colleoni*

*Bad art history joke.**

**like you really needed to be told that

Tracht

2010-08-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

In other news, I bought a dirndl a while back. Since buying it I have notice that Bavarians will use any excuse to wear Tracht: a traditional national costume in German-speaking countries.

Going to a festival? lederhose
Going to the biergarten? lederhose
Going out with friends? lederhose
Market? lederhose
Picnic? lederhose
Lecture at the Zentralinstitut fur Kunstgeschichte? You guessed it....lederhose

Anyway here is a blurry picture of my dirndl. It matters which side you tie the bow on your apron. Left: single, Right: taken. Although from what I have seen men are a bit too intoxicated to notice something that sutble.

The Babysitter Diaries

2010-08-05T08:42:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting anything, because my life now revolves around babysitting and dissertating.

So what is it like to be a babysitter here in Munich?
Here is a picture I took of German kids at a playground...

That's right, they are reading. What you don't see is a little girl on the swing quizzing them.

OK, so that is a bit of an exaggeration. They were just playing school (I think)

Anyway I have been working for about four different families, off and on. I actually enjoy babysitting and it is teaching me important lessons:

1. How not to laugh when a little German boy says in English he needs to "make a schhhhtinker"

2. How to explain Disney princesses' behavior with a straight face. Try this some time.
Child: Why is Sleeping Beauty sad?
Me: She doesn't want to be a princess and marry the person they picked out for her. She wants to marry the guy she met in the woods.
Child: But she just met him.
Me: Um...sometimes that is all it takes.

Child: Why did Cinderella go with the prince outside?
Me: Um...they wanted to be alone and to go somewhere romantic
Child: Why?
Me: Uh...just watch the movie

I love Disney movies, but I have realized what horrible messages they send to little girls.
I think this clip sums it up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8xCgC3w1zs

3. Frozen corn makes a great ice pack for minor injuries blown way out of proportion

4. Playground time = Other parents telling their kids to go talk to the English lady.

5. Never listen to the fathers about the children's schedule. Because of misinformation I ended up inacting a scene in every movie where the parent must learn to be better: leaving a child waiting out in front of the school with a teacher after everyone else has left for the day.

6. And finally it is not only ok, but often necessary to bribe children

(Note: To any parents of the children I watch. This is meant for entertainment purposes only. Please do not fire me)

Who loves the sun?

2010-05-26T07:19:00.000-07:00

Not everyone. (Thanks The Velvet Underground). Well it is getting more summery here and I realize I desperately need several things.

1. Ear Plugs: Since it is warmer I need to keep my windows open at night, which means I can hear everything on the street. Not good!

2. Fly Swatter: As mentioned above, I have to keep the windows open. Germans don't believe in putting screens in the windows

3. Electric Fan: No explanation required

4. Shorts: I have avoided these for six years or so now, but I suck at riding a bike in a skirt.

So if you would like to send me any of these things, feel free

Auer Dult

2010-04-30T07:59:00.000-07:00

So I am too lazy to describe this market which is right next to where I live. So wikipedia will:

The Auer Dult is a traditional annual market in Munich, Germany, taking place three times per year on the Mariahilfplatz in the Munich district of Au. The first fair of the year, the so-called Maidult (May fair) is held in the first weekend of the month. The Jakobidult takes place in July and the Kirchweihdult occurs in the week after Kermesse. Each one lasts nine days.

The Auer Dult is considered to be the largest crockery market in Europe: Pots, porcelain, and other ceramic wares wares are available at numerous Standl (stands). In addition, other household accessories, natural healing remedies and clothes are available. Many stands also offer antique books and commodities. The assortment of items ranges from chamber pots to rustic furniture.

So that being said, here is what it looks like...

First thing Gretchen did? Buy a huge pretzel

ahhh, lots of junk!

Ok the book stands were more interesting

Teas


One of the many ceramics stands. We tried, unsuccessfully, to find a mug with the name Gretchen on it.

They didn't have Gretchen, but thank god they had this


Presumably for Guido's girlfriend

Really?! How can you top this Munich. Immer klasse!!!

Sunday in the Park with George (Ok actually Gretchen and Jonathan)

2010-04-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

The weather has been amazing and I finally feel like Munich is not so dreary. So for Gretchen and Jonathan's second day in Munich the agenda was: Alte Pinakothek (only one euro on Sundays) and the Englischer Garten.

Our "Beach"

Finally! Sunshine!

Gretchen, Jonathan and part of my thumb. Stupid iPhone! (Just kidding iPhone, I love you!)

Beer Garden by the Chinese Tower. It is weird to see this many people and so overexposed...

No curling! Got it!!!

Gretchen with a very hungover Susannah

For a second I was amazed at how clean the water was, but then I remembered it is Munich

It's Asparagus Time

Random Modern Sculpture

Gretchen in front of the Munich branch of Sotherby's. She just can't get away...

Tram Party

2010-04-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

Hey do you want to come to the tram party on Saturday?

You mean be squished next to a bunch of drunk people on a rented city tram for four hours? I couldn't imagine a worse thing to do.

Really?! It sounds like this could only go well...

Waiting with Marie to board the tram

Let's get this tram party started.

Ok for the first thirty minutes it kinda sucked

Getting Better...

Yay Americans

The Tram Dance is like regular dancing but you all fall over when the tram comes to a sudden stop

No room to squeeze past? No problem!

The first of the bathroom breaks.

The Men's Room

So yeah, that was the tram party. Was it worth 25 euros? Um...do you need to ask?

The Rules of the Road

2010-04-22T03:45:00.001-07:00

So I have noticed a few things as a pedestrian and (now that I got the back wheel fixed) a bike rider about the drivers here in Munich.

1. They are very competent

2. They pay attention to cyclists

3. If you are breaking the rules in anyway they do not make allowances!

Are you crossing against the light? Well they are not going to slow down or swerve, you just better get out of the way. I am not saying this is a bad thing. When I drive I would like to do that. Just a word of warning to anyone who visits Munich.

Home Again, Home Again

2010-04-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

So I am kinda feeling guilty about cheating on Munich with Italy and soon with Greece. I thought I better work on our relationship and try to remember what I fell in like with in the first place. (It wasn't love at first sight, more like slowly learning to appreciate its good points. Christmas time here helped).
Stands downtown selling asparagus and strawberries. I wonder what they would taste like together.

Activists in front of the Rathaus. Mostly being ignored.

Street performers in order of crazy.
1. Elf all in green who makes bird sounds. I see him here a lot

2. Glass ball manipulator

3. Yeah and these guys. I am thinking if I become a busker I want a small instrument.

4. Ok these are technically not street performers. But come on, they have no shame about wearing the exact same shiny lavender trench coats. That takes guts.

Ravenna when it drizzles

2010-04-18T06:23:00.001-07:00

I finally made it to Ravenna. I now am officially a medievalist. I also have sweet Ravennan/Ravennese/Ravennian? souvenirs. Unfortunately because it was overcast most of the day it was hard to get good pictures of the mos-EYE-ics.

Sant' Apollinare Nuovo.
I am struggling here to hold an umbrella, my sandwich, a bottle of coke and take the picture

This was built in the early sixth century as the palace chapel for the Ostrogothic king Theodoric.

When the church was later converted into an Orthodox church the depictions of members of Theodoric's court between the columns of the palace were replaced. You can still see their hands though on the columns themselves.

Create your own mosaic. Bags of tesserae that come with nothing to stick them on or even instructions. Unfortunately they were too expensive

The Arian baptistery for Theodoric et al.
Yeah I am too lazy to rotate this picture.

Quite possibly the cutest raising of Lazarus I have ever seen.

San Vitale
Also built in the 6th century and one more monument I can check off of my UNESCO World Heritage List. Although you can't swing a cat in Ravenna without hitting one of these (is that even an expression?)

The Byzantine Empress Theodora. I now I have an eyeglasses cleaning cloth with this on it.

Mausoleum of Galla Placidia. My favorite building here. Unfortunately it was so dark none of my pictures came out.

Straw into Gold, Straw into Gold, Impossible I'm told!
Ugly contemporary art near the Mausoleum of GP

Opus Sectile in the Orthodox Baptistery

Dome of the Orthodox Baptistery

Stucco work. If only someone would write a dissertation about this place. I bet they could win some awesome fellowship or something...

I've come to wive it wealthily in Padua...

2010-04-15T23:40:00.000-07:00

If wealthily then happily in Padua!

So my love of university towns meant that I had to go to Padua, whose university was founded in 1222. The town is close to Venice and really kinda creepy on a Sunday when no one is around.

Near the Arena Chapel

Air-lock before you can see the Giotto paintings in the Arena Chapel

Yay Spring! I just had to go down to Italy to see you.

"Ok guys, if we just put Pippo on Martino's shoulders Maria can hold him up and we can just about reach. Who cares that we are all wearing our Sunday clothes" (Do you like my stereotypical Italian names?)

We loved that this crane was here and there was nothing stopping you from walking right under it. Padua's motto: Safety first!

As usual, Boffa looking at something boring.

Something, something, Dante, something, something

I was ridiculously amused to see a Schlecker in Italy

Going for a 70s style sun glare here

The Prato della Valle

It is lined by 78 statues portraying famous citizens and created by Andrea Memmo in the late eighteenth-century.

As a tourist it is always best to see other tourists more annoying and ridiculous looking than you

The Santo which has the relics of St Anthony of Padua and was begun in 1230. They don't allow pictures inside. Needless to say I snuck some.

Donatello's equestrian statue of of the Venetian general Gattamelata

Inside the Santo

Pretending to be Dr McHam

Cafe in front of the Santo

Church of the Eremitani. The church was largely destroyed during WWII because it was near German Headquarters

Mantegna bits inside the Ermitani

Sometimes you just need to get the hell out of town

2010-04-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, Munich is a nice place to live. But it is not Venice! Just an hour plane flight and I was in Italy again. I wonder if I can come up with a good reason to move there next year...

Well Olivia these pictures are for you, my anti-facebook friend.

Requisite photo of San Marco

Morning in Venice

Afternoon in Venice

Night in Venice

San Giorgio dei Greci and its leaning tower

I vaguely remembered the story about how the Venetians got around the putting this in the piazza of San Marco. My undergrad Renaissance professor would be disappointed

Sarah in front of the 11th century church of Santa Fosca on Torcello Island

Pizza Margherita Time!!!

Ok, I get it. Be careful

Bike Riding: Or Why I Feel like Kermit

2010-04-06T05:18:00.000-07:00

So pretty much for the first time in my life I am enjoying riding a bicycle, despite falling off the second day I tried riding around the city. I wake up and am actually excited to get outside and ride to the library. As I have always been someone who thinks her life would not be very different if she had to be confined to a wheelchair, this surprises me. After all I am not a huge fan of fresh air and sunshine. But then I saw something on my way to the electronics store today which made me realize why I love riding around Munich...

A nun on a bike with a metal folding chair strapped to the back.

Seeing things like this makes it totally worth it. Oh and then there are these important factors:

1. Munich is flat as a pancake, which is good for out-of-shape me.

2. There are bike lanes everywhere and pedestrians and motorists (nice use of motorists, Fisher) watch for cyclists.

3. It saves me 40 euros since I do not have to buy a monthly public transportation pass.

4. It came with a ridiculously huge basket, which actually makes my life much easier.

This one goes out to Dr. Fisher

2010-03-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

So I have noticed that I hardly ever see German men with comb-overs. It seems as soon as one starts losing his hair, he immediately starts shaving his head. And while most cannot rock this look as well as Patrick Stewart, I have to say it looks about five million times better than a comb-over or the shaggy long hair and a big bald spot. So I feel like that is what I will write in my DAAD report about what I learned in Germany and will take back to the US.

No THAT's the dressing room

2010-03-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

I am getting caught up with the blogging after Kim's visit. So this one is going to be about shopping in small boutiques in Munich. As someone who mostly just went to Loft (which you can shoplift from apparently since the employees are not allowed to stop you), this is a new world to me. And it's all about the changing rooms, or lack thereof.

So you go into one of these store and here is how it goes down:

1. Grüß Gott (literally "greet God" which is the greeting here. According to Wikipedia "In Bavaria guten Tag is considered prim and distant and sometimes leads to misunderstandings; however, if the person addressed is from Northern Germany, it can be seen as a friendly gesture.)

2. Since you are the only one in the store you respond.

3. You look around and see a few racks crammed with stuff in each stores own weird system--some by color, some by level of dressiness.

4. You look stupid and the owner/salesperson asks if you need help.

5. You say what item of clothing you are looking for and your size.

6. Salowner (salesperson/owner) starts pulling things out and shoves you towards the "dressing room". This can be a little cabinet with a curtain that doesn't really cover the space. Or, as in my favorite store, there nothing but a little space in the back. There are a few stacked cardboard boxes and that is all between you in your underwear and the huge glass wall that looks out onto the street.

7. You try things on. The salowner insists on seeing. And will give you honest advice.
"No that is too tight"
"You need a different bra"
etc. etc.

8. At a certain point they just start coming into the room/space with more thing for you to try on as you have to stand there in your underwear and discuss what you have tried on and what you like or don't like.

All that being said. I love this whole process.

To Market, To Market

2010-02-13T07:28:00.000-08:00

Not far from where I live is a large (22.000m² with 140 stalls and shops) daily food market, the Viktualienmarkt. You can pretty much get anything you want. For example today I bought: scallops, pine nuts, sun-dried tomatoes, wurst, baby spinach, assorted olives, cheese, organic eggs, and blood oranges. You can also get freshly made juice, bakery goods, and entire meals. I stopped at my favorite imbiss place and got curry wurst and beer. I also ran into a friend and sat next to a family visiting from Jersey (wherever that is).

Lovely day, no? Even with tights, thick wool socks and boots my feet were cold.

Now you can see why I didn't have to worry about the seafood going bad.

Where I bought my olives.

Aww, pretty and over-priced

Ahh stereotypes!

The parish church of Saint Peter, whose tower is commonly known as "Alter Peter" - Old Peter - and which is emblematic of Munich, is the oldest recorded parish church in Munich and presumably the originating point for the whole city. (Source: Wikipedia)

This church is right next to the market and is always so full of incense I can't breathe.

This auction house is right next to the market too. They broadcast the auction on speakers out into the square. I think he was selling glasses here. I can't remember though. They were better than the ugly painting right before.

Sunday, Sunday

2010-01-31T11:17:00.000-08:00

So for a long time I have been annoyed about everything being closed on Sundays. Now, however, I have started to embrace it. It is nice to be lazy and not feel guilty. I can't run errands, the ZI's library is closed, and the Staabi has not gotten the books in that I ordered Friday.

So here are what my Sundays are like now
1. Wake up around 11am
2. Watch movie (today was Persepolis, which was really good)
3. Make an elaborate lunch
4. Talk to family and friends
5. Do hand-washing
6. Write a boring blog entry
7. Consider making dinner for several hours, until the hunger interrupts my contemplations on how much work this is.

Ahh the day of rest!

Struwwelpeter

2010-01-28T12:49:00.000-08:00

So I have been seeing this classic book of German Children's stories everywhere I go. Frankly I am glad I was not a child in nineteenth century Germany, because the cover image alone is terrifying. So I decided to look up what the plot was, hoping it would explain this image.

Using only the best source (wikipedia) this is what I discovered.

It comprises ten illustrated and rhymed stories, mostly about children. Each has a clear moral that demonstrates the disastrous consequences of misbehavior in an exaggerated way. The title of the first story provides the title of the whole book. Literally translated, Struwwel-Peter means Shaggy-Peter.

What are some of these stories you might ask:

1. The Dreadful Story of Pauline and the Matches: A girl plays with matches and eventually burns to death.

2. The Story of Kaspar who did not have any Soup: Kaspar, a healthy, strong boy, proclaims that he will no longer eat his soup. Over the next five days he wastes away and dies.

3. The Story of Flying Robert: a boy goes outside during a storm. The wind catches his umbrella and sends him to places unknown, and presumably to his doom.

4. The Story of Bad Frederick: a violent boy terrorizes animals and people. Eventually he is bitten by a dog, who goes on to eat the boy's sausages while he is bedridden.

5. The Story of Thumb-Sucker: a mother warns her son not to suck his thumbs. However, when she goes out of the house he resumes his thumb sucking, until a roving tailor appears and cuts off his thumbs with giant scissors.

And I thought Family Guy was just making it up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_Mzg2mbrZs

Waiting Room Etiquette

2010-01-28T05:26:00.000-08:00

Since Munich is trying to convince me to leave by always making me sick (HA! Nice try, but it isn't working), I have gotten to experience the German health care system. You can go to any doctor and the doctor sees you almost immediately. There is none of that first going into the room to have your vitals checked by the nurse and then waiting another thirty minutes until the doctor pops his/her head in.

What I find most interesting, however, is how one is supposed to behave in the waiting room. The other patients greet you. Even if you are sitting in there and a person comes merely to pick up her coat and leave, she still says goodbye to you and wishes you a nice day. Now everyone knows that I love talking and making eye contact with strangers. Think how much more I like this at the doctor's office, say when I am visiting the gynecologist.

Mmmmmm...Krapfen

2010-01-27T06:19:00.000-08:00

So as Fasching approaches all the stores are decorating (which for the Lotto/Tobacco shop next to me means the word 'sching' in construction paper letters since the F and A fell down). And the bakeries have all their different types of Krapfen out on display. I have now eaten two and I think I have reached my doughnut limit for the rest of the year.

But as you know German is a fun language and Bavarians and Austrians often have their own names for things. So if I do want another and am in Berlin I cannot just ask for Krapfen.

So if you would ever like a doughnut filled with stuff in Germany around carnival season, here is what you need to know:

1. In Bavarian and Austria = Krapfen
2. In most of the rest of Germany = Berliner
3. In Berlin = Pfannkuchen. This makes perfect since because that word in the rest of Germany means a type of pancake. And why would we want to make this easy on anyone?

Travels with Germans

2010-01-26T12:40:00.000-08:00

So today I went to Landshut, which is northeast of Munich, with the other stipend holders at the Zentralinstitut and the second-command of the ZI. It was nice to be included, because I could watch the habits of Germans during their excursions. Since I am incapable of having conversations in German at any sort of level, this allowed me to hone my anthropological skills.

Here are some of my observations and preliminary findings
1. They are able to stand for extraordinary amounts of time in freezing cold castles and palaces. Despite the fact that, for me, hypothermia had long set in, the subjects continued to discusses mediocre paintings at length. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that they must all have prosthetic limbs that serve as insulation between the cold floors and their torsos.

2. They never drink water or anything hydrating at lunch, which is usually a large, heavy meal. Conclusion: Their digestive systems have evolved to be able to extract enough water from sausages and random meat parts held together by jello.

3. Portion sizes are huge, therefore there must be secret vomitoriums to which I have not yet gained access.

4. On train rides everyone is able to produce chocolate from their bags. This includes everything from RitterSport and Kinder products to chocolate covered cookies and almonds. These treats are shared with everyone in the group and passed around in a kind of community bonding ritual. Also chocolate purchases must be subsidized by the government.

Tram Rides

2010-01-24T14:55:00.000-08:00

So some days when I don't want to be stuck in an underground tube, waiting for it to cave in on us all and bury us alive, I take the tram. This also means I can try a different flavor of doughnut from the bakery near the tram stop during the lead up to Fasching (carnival to you). You can see the bakery--it's the red building--in the picture. You can also see the screen that tells you when the tram will come.

I also like that if you run in front of the tram it will stop for you. (Although the subway drivers will often wait if they see you running down the stairs to catch the subway. Gotta love friendly Munich). You can also look out of the windows and see fun sights, such as the amazing mustaches sported by older Bavarian men. (I am going to do a photo series of these soon).

What is less pleasant: (Yes Kate another list)
1. The fact that old ladies glare at you until you let them sit down. Even if they are only going one stop.

2. Having my hair ripped out when an older man decided he needed to stand directly in front of me and hold onto the two bars on either side of me and pulled my hair that was next to one of these bars as he would sway with the turns. [Maybe I need to draw a diagram]

3. Youths (Although hearing German kids do impressions of Italians was pretty priceless.)

4. Although everyone brings their dog on the tram, just watch out if you try to pet it. You will instantly have someone screaming at you

Does my hair smell like swans?

2009-07-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

I reread my last blog and decided I really needed to get out more. (Where am I at the moment? The library. Baby steps people. Baby steps.) So after avoiding beaches in the summer for 7 long years, I decided it was time to go back.

Why have I stayed clear of beaches the way other people avoid the movie Beaches? A couple of excellent reasons...

1. Sunshine has never been my friend
2. Hoardes of people bother me
3. Sand (enough said)
4. Did you know there are fish and other scary thinigs in lakes and oceans? Eww!!!
5. Swimsuits

However, the above is meaningless when every morning at 6am you wake up to the sunshine baking your room to an uncomfortable 200 degrees centigrade. That is enough to cook a pizza by the way. (Also look how European I am getting!) Without the possibility of getting air conditioning any time soon, the only solution was the Bodensee.

So what is the beach like in Konstanz, and why have I been going everyday? Well the Bodensee seems to have taken my complaints to heart and provided the perfect beach experience. Let's start at the bottom of my list, which is appropriate considering the name of the lake.

5. Almost everyone wears bikinis or speedos whether they look good in them or not (also there are a lot of very pale people, so I stand out less.)
4. The water is so clear I can see and avoid fish (eww). Although avoiding the swans is a little more difficult. They swim really close to you. Also they are not pretty, elegant creatures like in story books. They are behemoths that would kill you as soon as look at you.
3. No sand! Just soft grass. Oh and rocks that line the bottom of the lake.
2. Because it is so close to me, I can go early-ish every morning and avoid the crowds.
1. Unfortunately, this is where the Bodensee has let me down. I am currently one big sunburn. Stupid sun!

This one goes out to Kate Pieper

2009-06-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

Ahh the joys of having a computer again! And access to the university's internet! I can now work on my dissertation.

Yep that is what I am doing...working on the diss. You can tell because I am in the library. What's that you say Kate? I am talking to you on skype, checking facebook, reading cracked.com (which everyone should by the way), and renting a movie on iTunes for later, oh and doing a blog entry? Fine you caught me.

All joking aside I am mostly in the library all day and night so there is little to blog about besides the uni's Bibliothek, which I will do now.

1. Outlets are few and far between. Since it is Friday afternoon I don't have a problem. Normally, however, there is someone sitting next to one without a computer filing their nails or something equally inane (not like reading cracked.com). There are tons of outlets in the S-Stacks, but unfortunately no internet connection.

2. The 6th floor which has all of the archaeology, anthro, and classics collections smells. No, it is not the friendly smell of dust and rotting books. As you walk up the stairwell to this floor, you are overpowered by the sent of vomit, which someone has tried to cover up by opening up a bunch of those scented markers.

3. Each night around 10 they announce that they are closing the circulation desk. And every night at this time I am momentarily freaked out. Why? German + loudspeakers = creepy/impending death

4. After I finish reading cracked.com (if you didn't think I could mention it three times, you don't know me) and want to go home I go to the self-checkout lane and am homesick for Stop and Shop or Meijers (it depends on the day). One day I didn't bring my library card. I asked the girl at the circ desk to hold some books back there for me until the next morning. She then proceeded to tell me that it was the most difficult thing she ever had to do and how she didn't know if that would work. I promised to come back bright and early the next morning with my card and get them. No one would ever have to know. Finally she wrote an novel length note and attached it to the books. Needless to say I slept in the next morning and never came for the books. That night I tried to sneak by her. Too bad I was wearing the same sweatshirt.
("Why didn't I go back?" you ask, Kate. You would have slept in too if you had watched a million hours of Australia, whose only redeeming feature is Hugh Jackman being sexy in every scene, until 4am)

Munich, France, and Things I Miss

2009-05-12T07:40:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I was in Munich (soon to be my new home). I decided to trade in one tourist town for a larger, more famous tourist town. On Thursday I will be meeting Kim to drive around France. Yippee! So with all my thoughts on European travel, I thought I would make a list of all of the things I miss about America.

So here they are in no particular order:

1. Polite senior citizens - I am honestly afraid of the old people here. They run into you and act like it is your fault.

2. Stick deoderant - sprays, gels, WTF?

3. Comcast - I would really like to have reliable internet. I think my friend Kate in Cambodia has better access than I do.

4. Annie's Mac and Cheese - no explanation required

5. Netflix - I am getting tired of watching every movie in little sections on Youtube

6. Gallons of Milk

7. Marquand Library

8. Good wine - Soon to be remedied!

Ok so the list might go on forever...

Is this Konstanz?

2009-04-23T11:17:00.000-07:00

So I am finally updating my blog. My only excuse is that I have been enjoying living in Konstanz too much. Today is the first chilly, rainy day we have had in a while, so I do not feel guilty staying indoors. When my friends and I returned from Italy (which was great), we thought we had come to the wrong town. Suddenly there were backpackers, sidewalk cafes, fabulous ice cream parlors, beautiful weather, stores we had never noticed, etc.

Our first day back when went to see Slumdog Millionaire dubbed in German. Several things let us know we were not in the US, Finland, or Tawain any more. First your ticket is for a specific seat, the seats in the front are cheaper. After the previews were over, the raised the lights and came down the aisles selling ice cream. And the strangest thing of all, candy was not 5 Euro! The dubbing was either very good, or I am rather stupid, because there were times I thought to myself. "Wow! These Indian kids speak really good German!"

So anyway I have been spending lots of time outdoors, (in the woods or by the lake) enjoying the sunshine. I am writing this as a warning, as I am pretty sure Susannah enjoying the outdoors is one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

Good News...Now I can continue to make jokes about German

2009-03-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

So late last night I came back from the International Buffet/Party and found an email waiting for me. I won a DAAD fellowship! It will give me money to live in Munich (hopefully) for ten months. I had to read the email about 20 times to make sure I was reading it correctly. I think I am. Just to make sure I sent it to my parents. I celebrated this morning by buying a pan so I can bake things now.

After not getting the Kress I felt pretty awful and in a conversation with Kim figured out why I did not get it. I had been whining and joking about Germany too much, and this is how the universe repaid me. Kim decided I needed to say wonderful things about Germany and the German language from then on (and eat more wurst). I think it worked.

Now I can go back to my usual self. I am still a little afraid to say anything awful about German, so I will let Mark Twain do it for me.

The Germans have another kind of parenthesis, which they make by splitting a verb in two and putting half of it at the beginning of an exciting chapter and the other half at the end of it. Can any one conceive of anything more confusing than that? These things are called "separable verbs." The German grammar is blistered all over with separable verbs; and the wider the two portions of one of them are spread apart, the better the author of the crime is pleased with his performance. A favorite one is reiste ab -- which means departed. Here is an example which I culled from a novel and reduced to English:

"The trunks being now ready, he DE- after kissing his mother and sisters, and once more pressing to his bosom his adored Gretchen, who, dressed in simple white muslin, with a single tuberose in the ample folds of her rich brown hair, had tottered feebly down the stairs, still pale from the terror and excitement of the past evening, but longing to lay her poor aching head yet once again upon the breast of him whom she loved more dearly than life itself, PARTED."

However, it is not well to dwell too much on the separable verbs. One is sure to lose his temper early; and if he sticks to the subject, and will not be warned, it will at last either soften his brain or petrify it. Personal pronouns and adjectives are a fruitful nuisance in this language, and should have been left out. For instance, the same sound, sie, means you, and it means she, and it means her, and it means it, and it means they, and it means them. Think of the ragged poverty of a language which has to make one word do the work of six -- and a poor little weak thing of only three letters at that. But mainly, think of the exasperation of never knowing which of these meanings the speaker is trying to convey. This explains why, whenever a person says sie to me, I generally try to kill him, if a stranger.

And all these years I had no reason to kill strangers...

Also I am not sure if this picture is of Mark Twain or Hal Holbrook. Oh well...

Germanwings

2009-03-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

So six other girls from the March Course and I decided to travel together during Spring Break. We tried to find cheap flights to Italy with Ryan Air and Easy Jet, but it is harder than it might seem to book seven plane tickets. We then came to the website Germanwings. They had the option of blind booking for 50 Euros roundtrip. The problem was Rome was just one of the place you could get tickets to. We all agreed the other possible cities would be fine. They included Barcelona, Madrid, Lisbon, Vienna, etc. But we all just wanted Italy. After filing out the online forms (no easy feat for seven tickets) and talking to another girl who could not decide if she wanted to do it, we clicked submit payment and waited the 45 seconds for it to tell us where we were going, which was...

ROME!!!!

We jumped up and downed, kissed and hugged each other. (Yes I let people hug me, that is how excited I was). And went to a local pub to have dinner and celebrate.

I must say I am now a little disappointed that I am not going to a new place. But really, how can you beat Italy?

"Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!"

2009-03-14T11:41:00.000-07:00

So last night was Pub Crawl Part II. The last place we went to was a disco that was having a traffic light party. I think the experience can be summed up in a sentence. They played the theme song to Beverly Hills Cop for people to dance to. According to my German teacher, playing really old, random music is a current trend in German bars and night clubs. I don’t believe her; I am pretty sure this is just how it has always been. I had a great time and stayed out until four in the morning. I think what I like most about going out is that I don’t look quite as awkward and dorky as I usually do in the States, because the Germans are not much better.

I have spent all day sleepy and relaxing. They schedule so many things for us to do that I am exhausted. I skipped the volleyball tournament today. I don't think I would have been a valuable member of the team cowering in the corner with my arms protecting my head and face. I think next weekend we have an excursion planned for Freiburg. I better get my rest now.

"Must be a king." "Why?" "He hasn't got shit all over him."

2009-03-12T00:10:00.000-07:00

---Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

So how was the castle in Meersburg?

COLD!

We all stood around inside freezing and finally feeling as though our dorms were not so terrible. Maybe that is why they planned this trip.

"What is this East Poland?" --Aga from Poland

2009-03-08T07:56:00.001-07:00

So still no internet in the room. I got to McDonalds today and practically the entire dorm was here on Skype. Hopefully the backery will stay open as I write this blog, I need something to eat tomorrow morning for breakfast, but it is Sunday so all the stores are closed.

Tomorrow I am going to a castle. How much you want to bet that the castle has wireless?

Finally Internet...Thank you McDonalds!

2009-03-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

So I decided to start a blog because I am so lazy. So what has been going on? Many things. In the German way I will make an outline.

1. Dorm Room

1.1 When I got there it was disgustingly dirty. I had to go to Mueller and buy cleaning supplies and something to get rid of the smell.

1.2 No Internet!!!

1.3 The dorms are pretty old, and are being torn down. That is why they put internationals there. My neighbors are from China, Japan, Romania, and Turkey, just to name a few.

2. March Course

2.1 Group 5- Thanks to Rosetta Stone I made it into group five for the language class. There are eight groups, eight being the most advanced. Unfortunately I have no idea what the teacher is saying half the time.

2.2 They organize many trips and activities for us. We had a City Rally where we had to run around the town and find things. Our group came in last. Last night we did a pub crawl. And today we had a tour of the Alt Stadt.

2.3 There are students from all around the world in the German classes. We all speak English to each other instead of German.

3. Konstanz

3.1 It is a beautiful town right on the Bodensee. On a clear day (which we haven't had) you can see the alps.

3.2 It wasn't bombed because it pretended to be part of Switzerland, so there are buildings that date to the thirteenth century,

3.3 The weather is very wet and cold.

4. The University

4.1 It is in one huge bu idling, which is really 20 buildings stuck together on seven levels. It is crazy confusing.

4.2 It looks like a kindergarten because it is so colorful.

4.3 The Mensa (cafeteria) gives you about 3 pounds of food for 2,50 euros.

5. Strange stuff

5.1 Mustaches/beards. I have never seen more impressive ones in my life. The handlebar mustache is nothing compared to these.

5.2 Music at the bars ranges from the White Stripes and Franz Ferdinand to Chicago to stuff from the 60s.

Well that is all I can think of right now. I miss everyone!